Don't give me songs. Give me something to sing about.

Mars Work Conversation

2008-04-17T13:53:47Z

"Did you see where Sears was fined by the FCC for selling analog TV's to uninformed customers?"

"Yeah, they were fined six million dollars."

"They'll be ok. They just sold a bunch of analog TV's!"

Exultet

2008-03-23T02:12:51Z

Et nox sicut dies illuminabitur:
et nox illuminatio mea in deliciis meis.

Bizarre Comic Book Cameos

2008-03-21T17:58:51Z

I posted this as a birthday gift for my friend Alestar, but it seemed too good not to disseminate further.

Enjoy: http://www.cracked.com/article_16031_5-most-insane-celebrity-comic-book-cameos.html

Ganked from Samantha Blackmire

2008-03-20T14:36:42Z

I thought many of my literary and/or perverted friends would enjoy this one. It's sort of like autobiographical slash. Auden/anonymous hotty. It's rare to see a great writer produce something this prurient, or this bad. It's epic bathroom stall verse.

For a good time, call W.H. Auden

The Platonic Blow
W. H. Auden

It was a spring day, a day for a lay, when the air
Smelled like a locker-room, a day to blow or get blown;
Returning from lunch I turned my corner and there
On a near-by stoop I saw him standing alone.

I glanced as I advanced. The clean white T-shirt outlined
A forceful torso, the light-blue denims divulged
Much. I observed the snug curves where they hugged the behind,
I watched the crotch where the cloth intriguingly bulged.

Our eyes met. I felt sick. My knees turned weak.
I couldn't move. I didn't know what to say.
In a blur I heard words, myself like a stranger speak
"Will you come to my room?" Then a husky voice, "O.K."

I produced some beer and we talked. Like a little boy
He told me his story. Present address: next door.
Half Polish, half Irish. The youngest. From Illinois.
Profession: mechanic. Name: Bud. Age: twenty-four.

He put down his glass and stretched his bare arms along
The back of my sofa. The afternoon sunlight struck
The blond hairs on the wrist near my head. His chin was strong.
His mouth sucky. I could hardly believe my luck.

And here he was sitting beside me, legs apart.
I could bear it no longer. I touched the inside of his thigh.
His reply was to move closer. I trembled, my heart
Thumped and jumped as my fingers went to his fly.

I opened a gap in the flap. I went in there.
I sought for a slit in the gripper shorts that had charge
Of the basket I asked for. I came to warm flesh then to hair.
I went on. I found what I hoped. I groped. It was large.

He responded to my fondling in a charming, disarming way:
Without a word he unbuckled his belt while I felt.
And lolled back, stretching his legs. His pants fell away.
Carefully drawing it out, I beheld what I held.

The circumcised head was a work of mastercraft
With perfectly beveled rim of unusual weight
And the friendliest red. Even relaxed, the shaft
Was of noble dimensions with the wrinkles that indicate

Singular powers of extension. For a second or two,
It lay there inert, then suddenly stirred in my hand,
Then paused as if frightened or doubtful of what to do.
And then with a violent jerk began to expand.

By soundless bounds it extended and distended, by quick
Great leaps it rose, it flushed, it rushed to its full size.
Nearly nine inches long and three inches thick,
A royal column, ineffably solemn and wise.

I tested its length and strength with a manual squeeze.
I bunched my fingers and twirled them about the knob.
I stroked it from top to bottom. I got on my knees.
I lowered my head. I opened my mouth for the job.

But he pushed me gently away. He bent down. He unlaced
His shoes. He removed his socks. Stood up. Shed
His pants altogether. Muscles in arms and waist
Rippled as he whipped his T-shirt over his head.

I scanned his tan, enjoyed the contrast of brown
Trunk against white shorts taut around small
Hips. With a dig and a wriggle he peeled them down.
I tore off my clothes. He faced me, smiling. I saw all.

The gorgeous organ stood stiffly and straightly out
With a slight flare upwards. At each beat of his heart it threw
An odd little nod my way. From the slot of the spout
Exuded a drop of transparent viscous goo.

The lair of hair was fair, the grove of a young man,
A tangle of curls and whorls, luxuriant but couth.
Except for a spur of golden hairs that fan
To the neat navel, the rest of the belly was smooth.

Well hung, slung from the fork of the muscular legs,
The firm vase of his sperm, like a bulging pear,
Cradling its handsome glands, two herculean eggs,
Swung as he came towards me, shameless, bare.

We aligned mouths. We entwined. All act was clutch,
All fact contact, the attack and the interlock
Of tongues, the charms of arms. I shook at the touch
Of his fresh flesh, I rocked at the shock of his cock.

Straddling my legs a little I inserted his divine
Person between and closed on it tight as I could.
The upright warmth of his belly lay all along mine.
Nude, glued together for a minute, we stood.

I stroked the lobes of his ears, the back of his head
And the broad shoulders. I took bold hold of the compact
Globes of his bottom. We tottered. He fell on the bed.
Lips parted, eyes closed, he lay there, ripe for the act.

Mad to be had, to be felt and smelled. My lips
Explored the adorable masculine tits. My eyes
Assessed the chest. I caressed the athletic hips
And the slim limbs. I approved the grooves of the thighs.

I hugged, I snuggled into an armpit. I sniffed
The subtle whiff of its tuft. I lapped up the taste
Of its hot hollow. My fingers began to drift
On a trek of inspection, a leisurely tour of the waist.

Downward in narrowing circles they playfully strayed.
Encroached on his privates like poachers, approached the prick,
But teasingly swerved, retreated from meeting. It betrayed
Its pleading need by a pretty imploring kick.

"Shall I rim you?" I whispered. He shifted his limbs in assent.
Turned on his side and opened his legs, let me pass
To the dark parts behind. I kissed as I went
The great thick cord that ran back from his balls to his arse.

Prying the buttocks aside, I nosed my way in
Down the shaggy slopes. I came to the puckered goal.
It was quick to my licking. He pressed his crotch to my chin.
His thighs squirmed as my tongue wormed in his hole.

His sensations yearned for consummation. He untucked
His legs and lay panting, hot as a teen-age boy.
Naked, enlarged, charged, aching to get sucked,
Clawing the sheet, all his pores open to joy.

I inspected his erection. I surveyed his parts with a stare
From scrotum level. Sighting along the underside
Of his cock, I looked through the forest of pubic hair
To the range of the chest beyond rising lofty and wide.

I admired the texture, the delicate wrinkles and the neat
Sutures of the capacious bag. I adored the grace
Of the male genitalia. I raised the delicious meat
Up to my mouth, brought the face of its hard-on to my face.

Slipping my lips round the Byzantine dome of the head,
With the tip of my tongue I caressed the sensitive groove.
He thrilled to the trill. "That's lovely!" he hoarsely said.
"Go on! Go on!" Very slowly I started to move.

Gently, intently, I slid to the massive base
Of his tower of power, paused there a moment down
In the warm moist thicket, then began to retrace
Inch by inch the smooth way to the throbbing crown.

Indwelling excitements swelled at delights to come
As I descended and ascended those thick distended walls.
I grasped his root between left forefinger and thumb
And with my right hand tickled his heavy voluminous balls.

I plunged with a rhythmical lunge steady and slow,
And at every stroke made a corkscrew roll with my tongue.
His soul reeled in the feeling. He whimpered "Oh!"
As I tongued and squeezed and rolled and tickled and swung.

Then I pressed on the spot where the groin is joined to the cock,
Slipped a finger into his arse and massaged him from inside.
The secret sluices of his juices began to unlock.
He melted into what he felt. "O Jesus!" he cried.

Waves of immeasurable pleasures mounted his member in quick
Spasms. I lay still in the notch of his crotch inhaling his sweat.
His ring convulsed round my finger. Into me, rich and thick,
His hot spunk spouted in gouts, spurted in jet after jet.

isrephael @ 2008-03-12T20:41:00

2008-03-13T00:42:03Z

Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early

Gygax Fails Fort Save

2008-03-05T16:55:07Z

http://blog.wired.com/underwire/2008/03/report-gary-gyg.html

isrephael @ 2007-12-25T11:20:00

2007-12-25T16:21:37Z

Nativity

Immensity, cloister'd in thy dear womb,
Now leaves His well-beloved imprisonment.
There he hath made himself to his intent
Weak enough, now into our world to come.
But O ! for thee, for Him, hath th' inn no room ?
Yet lay Him in this stall, and from th' orient,
Stars, and wise men will travel to prevent
The effects of Herod's jealous general doom.
See'st thou, my soul, with thy faith's eye, how He
Which fills all place, yet none holds Him, doth lie ?
Was not His pity towards thee wondrous high,
That would have need to be pitied by thee ?
Kiss Him, and with Him into Egypt go,
With His kind mother, who partakes thy woe.

-John Donne, excerpt from "La Corona"

Merry Christmas, everybody

isrephael @ 2007-12-25T11:16:00

2007-12-25T16:17:40Z

UNFOLD thy face, unmaske thy ray,
Shine forth, bright Sunne, double the day.
Let no malignant misty fume,
Nor foggy vapour, once presume
To interpose thy perfect sight
This day, which makes us love thy light
For ever better, that we could
That blessèd object once behold,
Which is both the circumference,
And center of all excellence:
Or rather neither, but a treasure
Unconfinèd without measure,
Whose center and circumference,
Including all preheminence,
Excluding nothing but defect,
And infinite in each respect,
Is equally both here and there,
And now and then and every where,
And alwaies, one, himselfe, the same,
A beeing farre above a name.
Draw neer then, and freely poure
Forth all thy light into that houre,
Which was crownèd with his birth,
And made heaven envy earth.
Let not his birth-day clouded be,
By whom thou shinest, and we see.

-Christopher Harvey

Today's reading

2007-12-23T18:07:15Z

Is it not enough that you weary mortals that you should weary God also?

Isaiah 7:13

WoW Geekiness

2007-11-16T05:10:40Z

An amazing guild recruitment video:

http://www.warcraftmovies.com/stream.php?id=49870&stream=Filefront

What is marriage?

2007-11-09T05:01:36Z

"It's the reunion of the separated duad. Originally you were one. You are now two in the world, but the recognition of the spiritual identity is what marriage is. It's different from a love affair. It has nothing to do with that. It's another mythological plane of experience. When people get married because they think it's a long-time love affair, they'll be divorced very soon, because all love affairs end in disappointment. But marriage is recognition of a spiritual identity. If we live a proper life, if our minds are on the right qualities in regarding the person of the opposite sex, we will find our proper male or female counterpart. But if we are distracted by certain sensuous interests, we'll marry the wrong person. By marrying the right person, we reconstruct the image of the incarnate God, and that's what marriage is."

-Joseph Campbell

Random Quote #2

2007-11-08T04:40:49Z

Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes

Random Quote #1

2007-11-08T04:38:16Z

"I will hold the Christ-light for you
In the nighttime of your fear
I will hold my hand out to you
Speak the peace you long to hear"

-The Servant Song

I'm not typically a fan of little campfire VBS songs, but occasionally one hits me just right.

State of the Brandon Address

2007-10-04T04:32:49Z

I've not updated in a long while and much has happened.

1) I took my old job as a staff vocalist at Saint Paul's.

2) I have taken a position at McCallie, working in the bookstore.

3) I dinged 70 with my Shaman and respecced to Elemental. (pH34r teh Pew Pew of Doom!)

4) I finished the Lucifer series by Mike Carey, and it has officially been deemed the best comic series I've read.

5) I found an apartment today and will be moving in this weekend.

Please note that Brandon moving in one weekend almost invariably means a housewarming party the next weekend, so mark your calendars.

isrephael @ 2007-09-18T22:34:00

2007-09-19T03:03:46Z

I went to the local Chinese restaurant for lunch yesterday, and was sat next to a table of four VERY "down home" folks.

Things overheard:

"Now I love me some groundhog meat. But, it like to take us all day to run over two of 'em."

"The trick is to put them in a pan with some sweet 'taters and beans."

"Hell nah! I ain't eatin' no 'possum!"

I ate my meal, drawing comparisons to my time in China. Migrant workers from the provinces vs. Hillbillies from the Appalachians. Groundhog vs. Mystery Meat Offal. After it's all said and done, though, at least we don't hack up phlegm and spit it on restaurant floors.

Ok... so...

2007-09-19T00:25:44Z

Normally I am extremely anti-Lolcats, but:

Wudili Nuqi File #007

2007-09-14T15:41:36Z

http://www.csmonitor.com/2007/0914/p01s01-woap.html?s=yaho

Hacking into our defense systems, and it's played down? How long will we continue to endure the provocations on the part of the Chinese? How long will we continue to fund a country that is openly aggressive towards us?

Ganked from Ordinarywhirled

2007-09-13T21:35:18Z

1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top results.

The good news: I've worked in 8 of these career fields.
The bad news: None of them stuck.

1.Public Health Nurse
2.Mental Health Nurse
3.Art / Music Therapist
4.Occupational Therapist
5.Addictions Counselor
6.Recreation Therapist
7.Clergy
8.Motivational Speaker
9.Midwife
10.Speech-Language Pathologist
11.Family and Consumer Scientist
12.Music Teacher / Instructor
13.Humanitarian Aid Worker
14.Sport Psychology Consultant
15.Psychologist
16.Foreign Language Instructor
17.ESL Teacher
18.Acupuncturist
19.Gerontologist
20.Actor
21.Nurse
22.Corporate Trainer
23.Computer Trainer
24.Special Education Teacher
25.Child and Youth Worker
26.Teacher Assistant
27.High School Teacher
28.Elementary School Teacher
29.Industrial-Organizational Psychologist
30.Early Childhood Educator
31.Professor
32.School Counselor
33.Naturopath
34.Social Worker
35.Marriage and Family Therapist
36.Physical Therapy Assistant
37.Athletic Trainer
38.Producer
39.Licensed Practical Nurse
40.Comedian

Today's reading

2007-09-11T17:16:41Z

"I know what she's going to do to me.

But if I ran--

--I'd just end up in some place that doesn't have her in it."

-Mike Carey
"Lucifer"

Wulidi Nuqi File #006

2007-09-01T18:30:51Z

"The boy and his family disappeared soon after and have not been heard from since."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070831/ap_on_go_ot/us_china_dalai_lama;_ylt=Aqi3psxYIWpkmBHmrylAcWQ7Xs8F

Theohara's great new WoW webcomic

2007-08-13T17:09:45Z

http://www.meghanohara.org/hog/parties.html

There's four total so far. Hit the "First" button, and enjoy

Wulidi Nuqi File #005

2007-08-13T15:00:25Z

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/12/business/worldbusiness/12security.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Independence Day in Shanghai

2007-07-06T18:01:26Z

We wanted to bring Americanism to the East, so we bought a big box full of fireworks and carried them to the local village. There were huge explosions... fireworks that would be vastly illegal in the States. Tiny fuses, huge explosions on the ground, smaller explosions that radiate out from the initial ground explosion. HUGE explosions that take place 10 feet off the ground and shower you with little death pellets. At one point my glasses were actually knocked off my face from an explosion.

Awesome.

After we announced our freedom to the masses (and scared away evil spirits) we went back to the townhouse and reenacted the American Revolution. We were lucky enough to have actual British, French, Chinese, and American people in attendance. So, sit back, click the link, and enjoy the authenticity:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7993&l=7ef98&id=511841645

Happy Independence Day!!! (Wulidi Nuqi File #004)

2007-07-04T11:42:48Z

They always say that living in a foreign country gives you a different perspective on life, and I think they are very correct. I have truly learned how fantastic it is to be born into a country that allows the free exchange of ideas and democratic representation. During my time in China:

I've been unable to access websites because they spread open ideas. This includes most message boards. The only reason I'm able to access LiveJournal is because of proxy servers.
The only news service in this country is run by the government, reporting only what they wish to be seen.
The massive revolts and demonstrations that are reported by foreign agencies are quickly and brutally suppressed by military force.
Minorities are actively and openly disenfranchised by relocating racial majority members to an area to squeeze out the locals.
Job postings openly specify which racial groups may apply.
Google searches containing certain keywords are reported to the government so that they might be silenced.
Thousands of years of cultural heritage has been systematically ripped and burned from this country.
Critical thinking is almost non-existent in the schools, as students are never asked to analyze or criticize a situation.
Opinions have official right and wrong answers.
Voting is seen as a distant and mysterious concept.

Honestly, I'm not even sure how wise it is to post this, but I figure it's in the spirit of the day...

Enjoy it, folks. What you have is wonderful.

Photo flood

2007-06-29T05:10:49Z

For all those not yet on Facebook...
From my recent trip to Hangzhou:

Feilai Feng:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7388&l=f8780&id=511841645

Ling Yin Temple:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7386&l=75bdc&id=511841645

Yong Fu Temple:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7393&l=e3726&id=511841645

Silk Museum:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7438&l=e7dc3&id=511841645

Dragon Well Tea Farm:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7439&l=3bb39&id=511841645

Mausoleum of General Yue Fei:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7441&l=6ff03&id=511841645

General Hangzhou pics:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=7443&l=8c192&id=511841645